While the transgender dating rulebook is certainly not the law – don’t wait three days to call her, just do it – there are certain trans dating principles you should follow if you want a relationship to be successful. Here are some of my favorite grindr trans dating commandments:
Transgender dating commandment 1: It all starts with you.
It’s the same advice your mom gave you on your first day of school: be yourself. Be authentic, laugh at things you find funny, share your personal opinions on hot topics, wear your favorite geek sweater, and give your transgender person a chance to get to know the real you. While the fear of rejection is often the biggest reason to move your fake self forward, it’s far more tragic to be rejected for not being who you are than to be rejected by the wrong person in order to find the one who loves you.
Transgender dating commandment 2: Don’t lie.
Dishonesty is a barrier to most trans tinder hookup. To avoid falling into a lie, don’t lie. To be honest. It’s fragile. When in doubt, speak up and don’t try to be shy in uncomfortable situations. If you have baggage from a previous relationship, don’t pretend you don’t. If you don’t understand the political implications of the conversation, please clarify. If your transgender date asks a question you don’t want to answer, tell her you don’t want to answer, rather than avoiding it by giving a dishonest answer. Trans dating sets a precedent for the entire relationship early on. Don’t let dishonesty harm the future you might have.
Transgender dating commandment 3: Don’t compare.
Don’t pin the blame on your new girlfriend. Don’t compare the person you’re dining with to your ex, your girlfriend’s good boyfriend, or your dad. Don’t assume that the similarities between your new boyfriend and your ex will hurt, or that the huge differences between you mean you’ll never be understood as you were before. Give him or her a chance. Focus on getting to know a new friend and don’t compare his or her menu choices to those of older vegetarians.
Transgender dating commandment 4: Don’t ignore the red flags.
While it’s important to give your transgender partner a fair chance, it’s also important not to ignore obvious signs of discord, inconsistent values or risky behavior. If you are uncomfortable with someone, watch out for red flags. Don’t force yourself to stay in a bad situation, or say “yes” to a transgender people who you know will undoubtedly get nowhere.
Transgender dating commandment 5: Don’t play games.
The rulebook? Throw it out. If you like her, ask her out. If he leaves you a voice message, just call him back. If you’re hesitant to go on a sex date with a cute co-worker on Friday because you want her to ask you out, say “no” to the first, regardless of whether or not the second guarantees a sex date. Don’t use anyone as a backup plan.